freeze

i spent a few minutes trying to capture everyone holding still, all together and smiling.











i decided to settle for sitting up and not crying.

sewin love

recently we were able to help clean out my parents attic and found old costumes from my childhood that were hand-made by my mom! the kids have absolutely loved dressing up in the very same things i used to wear!



as i watched them "become" little frogs, lions and pilgrims, i was amazed at my mom's crafty sewing abilities! creating little masterpieces all while growing us three kids up!


you truly have a great talent gram!

thanks for sewing fun memories for us to wear!!!

we love you!!

morning person

here is how i feel...

before i have had my morning workout and yummy hot cocoa


and after. :)

confessions of a forgiven sinner

what sent my potentially perfectly good friday morning careening into the blasted abyss below like a mac truck out of control off the forest hill bridge?

was it the fact that my amazing husband had to leave just five minutes after my early morning (530am) workout routine had begun?

was it that just two minutes after that my third small blessing popped his delightful little head into my garage/playroom/gym to tell me he was awake?

perhaps it was my first small blessing who just one minute later joined him!

i lovingly (ok, not really) asked them to get back in bed and "get more rest so you can grow big and strong"...after all, it was only 5:45am!!!

maybe it was having to come in after the workout to hear all of said sweet small blessings arguing, at 625am!

after calmly(well, maybe!) asking them all to get back in bed and STAY there until the timer went off(7am), i quietly nursed my tiniest one and then began the morning routines of unloading dishes, packing lunches, making breakfast...you know the drill.

the timer went off, i skipped to the bedroom area of our 1000SF home and hugged each one of these rich blessing awake for the morning...committed, i was, to a GREAT day!

(as you would say, beca, it was going swimmingly!)

so what went wrong?

four screaming(out of happiness) kids, running then sliding(slippy socks they call it) through the house while brushing teeth...no prob.

multiple "no's" to my "please go get your shoes on", "please go get your jacket on"...no prob.

"mom there is dog poop on my shoe", spoken from my oldest, while standing in our garage/playroom/gym carpeted floor...now i can hear the screeching brakes of the mac truck as it hits black ice and begins to lose control.

"stop touching me", "stop pushing me", "stop looking at me that way", "MOM, he is breathing on me"!...CRASH! SMASH! Loud explosions!!!

suddenly, i am slamming the garage door that leads into our kitchen, to separate myself from 8 small, impressionable ears.

slamming a stool into our hard wood floor while shouting (close your ears mom and dad)as loud as i can, big bad cuss words, making my throat hurt and my eyes tear up...i find myself both shocked at my behavior, wondering how i got here,
and amazed at how good it feels to let lose that way.

in my anger do not sin.

speak with respect.

keep my hands to myself.

obey right away, all the way, and with a happy heart.

be a peacemaker.

nope. nope. nope. nope.

all the family rules i repeat at least 20 times a day to my four joys, broken in 20 seconds.

"parents train your kids in the way they should go..." not quite what i accomplished this a.m.

"do what i say, not what i do"...probably a more accurate description of my parenting from 530-820am today.

ah, the sick feeling of flat faced failure so early in the morning.

it overwhelms my heart with weighty guilt, dragging me down into the miry pit of self loathing and despair.

"what can wash away my sin? nothing but the blood of Jesus! what can make me whole again? nothing but the blood of Jesus!"

AH! the sweet reminder of His work on the cross for ME! fuller, richer, more complete than any sticky pit i can possibly throw myself into. unconditionally, positively, totally, and continually FORGIVEN! me...even me!

just like those commercials showing a car accident "undoing" itself as if it never happened, God's deep mercy and forgiveness set my path straight once again, as soon as i confess my sins.

of course, unlike the silly commercial, it did all happen...there seems to be no rewind button on my life's remote control.

but i rest in the truth, HIS truth, that i am a forgiven sinner.

no matter what.



nothing spurs a mom on toward righteousness like the fragile life of a child being placed by God into her hands.

heritage oaks

we are back from northern california, and settling into warmer so. cal. weather.

but fresh in my mind are the smells, the sights and the feelings that come with a winter up north.

we were blessed to spend 7 days with my family in our family home in granite bay. the name has changed (it used to be called loomis), but the location has not...

we call it The Ranch.

8 acres of heritage oaks and huge granite rock outcroppings surround the cozy home where i have spent the last 30 years of my life(or at least some of my things have. technically i moved out 8 years ago, but until this past week, i stilled laid claim to my bedroom!)

we celebrated Christmas there, enjoying many days filled with dear loved ones.

this pic is on the front porch (where dan and i were married!) of my parent's home...

we were also able to enjoy watching my brother-in-law play drums at our family's church, play with our cousins in the snow, and reminisce about our many years of outdoor fun on the ranch.






here is a pic of our many small blessings climbing one of the big granite rocks that my brother and i spent years conquering!



on the very near horizon is a amazing new piece of property, where my folks, my sister (and her family) and my brother (and his family) all plan to build homes one day. this means saying goodbye to the ranch, which for me, is very hard to fathom.

this trip was full of bitter sweet moments for me, reliving all the fun times i had experienced over these 30 years living in an amazing home, on an amazing piece of land.

our final day there, we followed everyone over to the new property, where my brother and his family already live. we watched as my dad scrapped the ground on their part of the 10 acre parcel with his excavator, preparing the land for he and my mom to build a new home. as i watched (our boys couldn't get enough of the tractors!) i realized that what i loved most about the ranch was the time i had spent with my family there...not just the land itself.

i was filled with joy as i recognized the blessing of being alive, surrounded by family i absolutely love.

home is way more about who shares your last name, than it is about your address.

i sit now, though many hours from our nor. cal. loved ones, and praise God for His rich blessings He has poured over us these past many years.
what a gift the past has been to my heart!
what a merciful blessing the future will be!
what a pure joy to be alive, in this moment, right now!

moments

2009...
In one year we have lost teeth, gained new friends, learned to ride bikes, to blow gum bubbles and to swim.

In just 12 months we have finished another year of residency, started kindergarten, preschool, sleeping through the night (well, some of us!), and second grade.

Over 52 weeks we have turned 2, 4, 5, 7, and, well...some other much bigger numbers.

During 365 days we relaxed at the beach, played soccer, sat in way too much traffic, and flew on our first airplane.

Within 8,760 hours we learned to laugh, tried to stop crying, learned to forgive, worked hard at listening, even harder at waiting our turn, and tried to share.

In just 525,600 minutes we moved out of old rooms, moved into new rooms, gave up bad habits, and tried to start good habits.

During 3,153,6000 seconds, we learned to trust God with the details, let go of the little things, focus on the really important stuff, pray often (really often) and hold tight to God’s promises.



Taken one at a time, our moments are like grains of sand...tiny and barely noticed.
But together they become our lives.

May your moments, gathered together, bring joy to your hearts.

May they remind you of the grace, love and power of our GREAT God.

He IS in the moments.
Have a merry CHRISTmas and a splendid 2010!

Peace to you all,
dan, christa, selah, samuel, miguel and elia

little

elia esperanza... your name means "thankful to God"


our fourth small blessing.
november 22, 2007
suddenly you are two! and not so small, although selah has nicknamed you "little".



you are sweet as honey, tough as nails.

our family's exclamation point.

we celebrated you with your best little buddy, clark, and his family.


you loved the birthday song the best...well, that,and getting to eat a super yummy cupcake!


your favorite present by far is this adorable little sweater dress from anissa and chris!! you request to wear it daily!!

we treasure each day we get to have with you!