un LOVE able

"Stop touching me!" "Don't! Stop!" "Stop looking at me!" "Stop! Stop! Stop!"

that's my back ground noise these days...

how do you love someone that behaves in such an UNloving way SO much of the day?!?

it's constant. unending. a low level noxious stimulus...like someone standing an inch from your face asking you "why?!" one thousand times in a row.

it's no wonder i scream at the top of my lungs by the end of the day (or by noon!) so often.

imagine sitting at your work place and coworker in the next cubicle whines and complains the ENTIRE day! how annoying would that be!?

i was sitting here, growing frustrated at the constant bickering and fighting and whining and tattling that is my "work day", judging them all to be "unlovable"!

that's when the Holy Spirit whispered in my ear...

"you are JUST as unlovable."

oh.

and there's this...

DESPITE my unloveliness; despite my willful disobedience; despite my woefully sinful heart...

Christ died for me.

for me!

for you!

for mysweetmess!

for all the unlovables.

(truly!) amazing grace!