Thursday, October 3, 2013

month one

we just finished our first 30 days of homeschooling! its been a wild ride...filled with more tears and laughter than i ever imagined. i can't yet claim that everything is "easy peasy", or that our days go "swimmingly"...but each moment (literally) has brought us closer to each other and our gracious Lord!
our theme this past month has been to choose joy...even (and especially!) when we don't want to. we are coming to realize (again!) that the lives we lead are not our own. to choose Christ is to willingly give up our "rights"...ALL of them! especially the good ones...the right to quiet, to calm, to a clean house, to order, privacy, space, time alone, sleep, getting to grocery shop by myself! we are daily realizing that we don't "deserve" any of these things! although these are all "good" things and things we genuinely need...we don't have the right to them. when/if we get any of these things, it is always a gift from God, unearned, undeserved. this life we lead is no longer our own...the home i live in is not mine, nor is the money (or time!) i spend. it is all God's.'s not a gift that some possess, but a command...a mandate for how to live. a daily pouring out of all that i have for the glory of God, to ALL who need (or demand!) it. Homeschooling has brought this truth right up in my face. i'm realizing how i hold many parts of my life back, as if they are my own, and not His. like getting mad when someone shows up in my day, unannounced, needing me, my resources, or worse, my time. what a hypocrite i can be! preaching one thing to my kids, my friends, all those people out there...while holding myself to a very different standard. as if i can keep a part of myself from Christ...knowing full well He demands all of me!
and are some things we are thankful for from this first month in our Refiner's Fire...He is only and ever good! 1. being on our own schedule 2. no homework 3. new friends 4. slow mornings 5. realizing i am not a very patient person 6. warm lunches 7. doing school in the morning sunshine, in our pj's! 8. being barefoot all day! 9. no lugging heavy backpacks 10. learning at our own pace 11. realizing i don't have the gift of teaching! 12. swimming at recess 13. friday fun days 14. getting to spend a week with sweet tiny cousins in nor cal! 15. God's gentle grace for our every mistake, again and again and again.

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